Music Education #6 Supporting Young Musicians

Children don't have to be analyzed or asked about whether they are willing to work or if they are talented prior to starting lessons. That's like asking a seed if it wants to grow. Just put it in the right environment and feed it. It grows.

I really am thankful for how my parents handled my musical development. They put me in the environment, then gave me a good balanced kind of support. Nothing too wildly enthusiastic (which kids may distrust) and always patient and loving. Nothing too hard core, either- I didn't feel like I was fulfilling their pride, or the embodiment of their dream. It was a relief to me knowing that they were enjoying what I was doing and felt no pressure from them except for reminders to practice if they thought I was forgetting. My Mom would remind me every day to practice until the days came where she would start saying, look, can you do something else now, you've been practicing for four hours...

My parents paid for everything and that is a LOT. For YEARS. Lessons for Piano and Violin, and Orchestra. Instruments, maintenance, tuning, gas and time. And what to them was probably noise pollution: putting up with repeating my favorite (highly dissonant) sections of Ginastera, Shostakovich and Prokofiev 37 times in a row.

I am glad my parents protected me by not embarrassing me by exposing my faults to my teachers right in front of me. What children overhear about themselves can really mark them in their own minds. I never heard my mom bragging about me except that once someone asked her, "Is your daughter talented?" and she answered "Yes." I always remembered that. If I overheard her tell people I was lazy, I probably would have acted more that way. Probably my mom doesn't know this story, but once when I was eight years old I got in a fight with a strong five year old whose seven year old brother was watching and egging him on. "Sometimes he gets vicious," was the older brother's comment. When the little brother heard that, he adding kicking and biting to his technique. Maybe he didn't know that sometimes he get vicious, but now that he heard that, he strengthened his newly self-conscious reputation. Kids are like that. I mean- they act on what they learn are others' impressions of them.

My mom never stuck up for me to my teachers either when I was lazy. She just calmly listened to the teacher let me have it. But there was deeply sincere encouragement- "You think you're not doing well, or not enjoying it? You haven't been practicing very much recently- get a few good hours in the next few days- you'll feel better about it. That's all you need and you'll be making lots of progress again." It was always gentle, calm encouragement, and sincere. I could trust sincerity.